The tale of the lost birth certificate

In the mean time, I'm also working part time for the adoption agency.  I didn't realize until this week, when I posted somethings about an adoption finalization I'm working on that people didn't know I was working for an adoption agency.  Funny stuff.  I apologize to anyone who that I was adopting a kid.  Funny enough, I think that might be a totally plausible conclusion for some people to come to about me.

The adoption agency pays the bills.  It was originally just meant to be me helping out an old employer with office organization until I found a "real job."  Then it suddenly became a "real job," funny how that happens.   My boss dropped an adoption finalization in my lap.  As you probably have guessed, I know absolutely nothing about adoption.  I don't even know anyone who has adopted or even been adopted.  But even so, my boss, overwhelmed by this finalization, gave me the project.  To make things a bit more stressful, the adoptive mother is fed up and outraged at the agency over this adoption.  My first email correspondence with her got me a response that started out by saying "Umm, Kassi."  Hell if that didn't piss me off.  But I used my professional prowess to send her a straightforward, yet kind email in response.  Eventually easing her over enough to not be so rude to me!  In the end, she made me feel really bad for her that all she wants is to finalize the adoption and be able to legally say that her baby is hers.  So I promised her I would take care of it, and I would take care of it quickly.

Then I realized I just promised something to someone, that I didn't have the slightest idea of how to do.

First I had to figure out what an adoption finalization is, and how to do it.  I spent the first few days emailing lawyers, adoption clerks at the court house, and even other agencies and asking them "how do I do an adoption finalization?"  Another local agency, our competition actually, was kind enough to give me a list of all the forms and paperwork I needed to get.  The finalization takes place at least 6 months after an adopted child has been living with the adoptive parent(s).  Everything becomes official once the finalization is complete and a new birth certificate, listing the adoptive parents as the parents of the child is generated.  It is pretty much the piece de resistance of adoptions.  The list the other agency gave me was quite intensive, and we were missing a lot of pieces.  None more crucial than the original birth certificate of the baby. On top of that though, our lawyer consultant (who normally would do the finalization but is quite expensive) informed me that we needed a few special motions because our case had special circumstances.  So I:

• pulled together the forms needed for the birth mother and the adoptive mother.  They each needed to sign and notarize about 6 different forms. 
• Found the forms from the court that the agency needed to fill out.  Not being a licensed social worker, I thought that my boss would need to fill them out.  But in the time it took me to corral her into the conference room and actually read and sign the forms, I was able to read through them and figure out how to do them on my own.  
• I got the lawyer to send me an example of a Motion to Waive Notice and a Motion to Approve the Open Adoption Agreement.  These were needed because of the special circumstances of this case.  What I find funny about the motions, is that they are in total lawyer jargon.  Complete with Hereto and wherefore and such.  It seems strange that I'm just typing up this super important court document in word on my laptop.  But that's what I did.  
• The biggest, most important, most complicated piece of the puzzle is the child's birth certificate.  Now we are supposed to have the birth certificate.  We did not have it.  I don't know if we had it at one point and lost it, if someone else had it, or what.  Fact remained, we didn't have it.  I figured out you get those from the Registry of Vital Statistics.  According to their website, you only need to know the birth date, birth place, and child's name to get the certificate.  It was too good to be true.  I called the office many times, only to ever get a voicemail.  I finally decided to go talk to someone, so I drove out to Dorchester (its right by the UMass Boston campus...very very pretty!).  I learned that you have to be a parent to get the certificate (duh!) and that if the parents are not married at the time of birth, the record is automatically restricted.  Being that we are the adoption agency and until the finalization is complete we technically have guardianship of the baby, we are allowed to get the certificate...but it takes a helluva lot of forms to get it.  I went back the next day with the birth mother's surrender, a copy of the agency's license, a copy of my boss's social work license, a letter that I wrote stating that I am an employee of the agency, a copy of my driver's license.  It took about 15 minutes of the guy checking with people to see if he could give me the the birth certificate...but he did!  I got it!  I got the birth certificate!  It has been a long time since I felt so happy and accomplished and all over a form for a kid I've never met!

So that's where we stand with the finalization.  I have more forms to send to the respective mothers, and still waiting on forms I sent them to come in.  My boss has to ok another form I made up and then we take all 75 million forms and letters and affidavits and motions to the adoption clerk and hope and pray that he doesn't say I did it all wrong.

Ebbs and Flows

Unfortunately, my life just isn't as consistently interesting enough to keep my blog up as I had hoped it would be. Or maybe, I need to re-frame how I view things.  Regardless:  an update.

So November and December were hard months for me.  There was my usual dislike for the holiday season and my new found dislike of cold weather to confront.  Along with my stagnant professional life and to top if all off things didn't go so well with Cute Red Head.  (I really thought with a first date story like we had, it would have lasted longer--oh well).  So I wallowed for for awhile.  Some of the wallowing I did in Mexico, which was awesome.  (That's where the re-framing part comes it, cuz that was really cool, but I was stuck in my own downward spiral at the time).

What wallowing does do for you, is it gives you a chance to think.  Think of all the things you want to change, and it give you the courage to change them.  At least for me it does.  In my wallowing, I was able to get a gig in a holiday market selling Rwandan baskets.  It was somewhat hokey, but I met some cool people and I saved enough money to completely pay off my Mexico trip, all other debt (excluding student loans of course) and still have a fair bit left for my next adventure.

I also networked my way into a volunteer position at my favorite non-profit public health organization.  I say networked my way in....I kind of stalked my way in, but more on that later. This.Is.Huge.  This organization has so many resumes come through not only for jobs but also for volunteer positions.  (In fact, another volunteer was going through and sending out thank you denial letters to all the other volunteer applicants this week because they are all full up).  It feels like a job, I treat it like a job, but it does not pay.  And for the moment, that is ok with me.  I am so excited to be a part of the work they do that I'm happy to enter data or stuff envelopes for hours on end for free.  Obviously, I won't be able to sustain this indefinitely because, well, I need a job.  But for now, I'm so pumped everyday that I get to go in to the office.  This volunteer gig is a huge opportunity and will open a lot of doors for me.  After volunteering two days, I discovered a global health fellowship program, which I am in the process of applying for.   I'm also in the process of stalking, I mean networking, with everyone who has a connection to the global health fellowships.  So wish me luck!  Because it could be everything I've been looking for!

The Thing About Facebook Birthdays Is

I hate them.

There is not a day that goes by where at least one of my FB friends has a birthday.  Facebook is kind enough to remind me of my friends aging, which I do appreciate.  But just because facebook tells me its Stacy's birthday, I am obliged to write the standard message on Raquel's wall. (I don't know a single person named Raquel).  So I am writing this blog as an apology to all the friends who have had a birthday and not received the standard FB message from me.  Its not because I don't care that its your day, I just didn't say so on FB.  To be fair, there are a number of people on facebook that I wouldn't normally call up on their birthday to chat with, so it feels a bit fake to write it on their walls.  But now I'm stuck in this conundrum of how do I say happy birthday to those I care about without looking like a bitch to those who maybe I don't.  I suppose the easy thing to do is go all or nothing.  But all is overwhelming and nothing is boring.

The thing about opinions is...

I have them.  Lots of them.  And I share them, frequently.  If you're one of my 6 followers you probably already know this.  I post a lot of articles on Facebook. Most of them political.  And all in hopes that someone who doesn't agree with me will actually read it.  Make a conservative see the light of day?  I acknowledge that this is a stratus cloud fantasy, but I still hold hope.  Maybe its the Pollyanna in me.  I know I've offended my fair share of Facebookers.  But to me, its all for a good cause.

On the flip side, I do read what my friends post.  Not that they will be able to change my mind, but out of genuine curiosity about what they feel strongly enough about to post.  Most the time I can let the  jargon pass with a judgmental roll of the eyes.  Occasionally I can not.  Then I get entangled in a heated back and forth.  Some might question why how I get along with said friends, sometimes I do as well.  But I hold on to them with the fleeting hope that something, anything, I said made the least bit of sense to them. 

That is all a way to say:

-I will forever keep posting political articles and tidbits.
-I will hold you accountable for the things you post, therefore don't post anything you are not willing or able to defend.


Some other facebook rules not related to politics though just as likely to offend:

-I do not, under any circumstances care to read about anything that comes out of your baby.  Doesn't matter which end or whether its good or bad news.  If its on the reverse track, keep it within the family.
-I will not wish you a happy birthday on Facebook.  Sorry.  Its generic and meaningless.  Though I really do appreciate all the birthday messages I get on my birthday.  I realize that this is a double standard.  Again, sorry.