Dating is expensive

**Note:  This blog was written a month or two ago.  I never posted it because I was worried about how I would come across.  After reading the draft again I decided that it is kind of funny (as least I think so) and therefore worth sharing.  It should also be noted from the beginning that "Date" in this story (who's name I can not even remember at this time) is NOT, I repeat NOT, the same guy I am dating now**

Someone used to tell me that I should write a book about all the crazy messes I seem to get myself into.  Like when I got caught in a Pakistani independence parade in Chicago that didn't end so well for me.  Or when I called my sister as tornado sirens were going off to see if there was really a tornado (only to be reminded by her co-workers that I had driven her to the airport that morning and she was in Turkey).  How about the "Four room celebration of camelka" and Super K cape.  Or a favorite, how I accidently stole some guys wallet and then returned it to spite him and the horrible offenses he slurred at me.  I really should re-post these stories for nostalgia....I love my twenties.  My "wacky KP tales" (its a working title) are becoming fewer as I get older which only makes me panic more about my impending birthday celebration.

Anyways, I recently joined a free dating site if for nothing else than to bring some entertainment to my life.  Moping over failed relationships isn't something I particularly enjoy doing so I figured I could flirt with some guys, maybe get a date out of it, and hell maybe even get a free dinner here or there.  That plan back fired on me recently.

I planned a date with a guy this week.  I'm already 2 dates in with a different guy that I actually like, so I'm not that invested in this date, really only going out of scheduling obligation at this point.  He was nice enough though, actually could be a cool guy to hang out with as friends, but of course I could never tell him that.  A serious downfall of online dating, how do you go on a date with a guy and then say, "Hey, you're kinda cool but not cool enough to date me, wanna be friends?"  Regardless, we had a decent time, decided to go switch up bars at one point.  I start making the awkward fake grab for my wallet, he doesn't stop me.  I am a firm believer in equal rights, and if women want to be treated as equals (and we do) we should pay equally.  But I'm broke and under-employed. I make the awkward fake grab each time, with full intention of going dutch and not judging the guy if he doesn't offer to cover the bill.  And I won't hold it against them id he doesn't.  But man you earn some major brownie points when you pick up the tab on the first date.  Chivalry is not dead my friends.  Want to impress a lady friend?  Take care of money business, pour their drinks, open doors, make them walk on the inside of the sidewalk, and for god sakes walk a girl to her car (or door)!

But I digress. Back to the date:

We give our cards to the bar tender.  Date excuses himself to the bathroom.  Bar tender comes back to tell me that Date's card had been declined and asks if I would like to just put it all on my card.  I decided quickly that the kindest and least awkward thing is for me to just pay the bill, knowing we are headed to a different bar and he can just pick up the tab there.  Let me tell you, telling a guy his card was declined for $15 charge on a first date IS an awkward situation...there is no way around that.  We went to the other bar, ordered a few drinks and tried to recover from the awkwardness.  It was almost recovered when the waitress comes back to ask if we want a second round.  Mind you its still early, I say I could go for another, but Date responds that he only has $20 on him.  Well shit.  Not willing to pay for another round of drinks myself, we cash out, pack it up and go our separate ways. (He did not walk me to my car)

As I was driving home I started to get very suspicious of the whole thing.  Who goes on a first date with less than $15 on their card?!  And not have any other form of payment available?  I honestly wonder if he planned that, I feel duped!

I have to say, I feel for ya guys, if I had to pay for first dates I would not go on them!  I dropped 40 bucks on a guy who isn't going to call.  And the real kicker is, I don't want him to call.  Not because of this story, but because I already started liking the other guy and I feel guilty for even going on another date.

I think the lesson to take away from this is that dating.is.expensive. I could never be one of those rotten people who try to date two people at once.  Oy vey!

A Travel blog you say

5 days until I leave for Peru.  People keep asking me if I'm nervous or excited, and oddly I'm not either one.  I mean yes, I'm excited, I know its going to be great, but I'm not jumping out of my skin for it to be Saturday.  And that might be where the nervousness sneaks in.  I'm equally nervous and excited, which is giving me this strange sense of calm about the whole thing.  (180 degree revelation from the last post, I realize). I've been tying up loose ends here (ie parking tickets, camera goods) and beyond that nothing is really in my control.  I just have to get my self and my pack to the airport by 3:30pm on Saturday, after that I have no control.  I will be picked up at the airport (I'm really looking forward to it, there's going to be a dude with my name on a board waiting for me, just like the movies).  Beyond that,  I can't change how much Spanish I still don't know, or how much money I still don't have, I don't have to worry about accommodation or food, and I don't want to plan any social outings/hikes until I get there.  It'll be cheaper to plan when I'm there and hopefully I can jump on with some other volunteers.


The one thing I am nervous about:  They just told me I'm going to be teaching English at a nursing home.  Eeeek!  I don't know how to interact with elderly!  They are ignoring my years of experience working with kids and throwing me into an completely unknown environment.  Seems almost like "experience karma"  I thought I'd have it easy, just chill with some kiddos talking in Spanglish.  Wrong.  I really hope the old men don't hit on my.  I know that sounds arrogant and mean, but really, old men looooove me.  I don't know what it is, they always hit on me.  


There is a major holiday the first week I'm there.  Apparently they have a major holiday every other weekend from what I hear.  My volunteer organization was quick to tell me that my schedule would be interrupted for special events and that I will  "be asked to join in the regular, day to day care of patients during that time." Great.  I bet I'm going to have to change adult diapers.


Hopefully I'm way off base.  Probably.  Hopefully.  We'll see.  No point in stressing about it now.  To Peru!!