I'm Awesome

I had a pretty funny weekend I thought I might share. Friday night my friend Uschi and I went out to our favorite club...The Golden Sheaf! We love the Golden Sheaf because of the high proportion of seriously hot men that are there every weekend. We didn't know why, but we knew we liked it.

At the Golden Sheaf.

We may have figured out why there are so many hot guys there. After this weekend, I'm pretty sure its an undercover gay bar. Now I love me some gay bars from time to time, but in this instance, I'm disappointed. It was like a haven for hot men, now its a haven for hot unavailable men. It may also just be a convenient excuse as to why none of them approached us any of the numerous times we've been there.

After this revelation we decided to hit Kings Cross. Kings Cross, for those not in Australia, is Shady McShadesville. There's a whole tv series based on true stories of the drug/prostitution/corrupt police of Kings Cross called Underbelly which I refuse to watch on the premise that it scares the piss out of me. That being said, The Cross is also like the hottest place to go out at night. For reasons unknown to me its where everyone ends up going out. I tried going out in Kings Cross once and saw the most violent fight I've ever seen between a drunk man, a bouncer, and the police. After that I decided that Kings Cross wasn't for me. Why would we decide to go there then? Well, it was close, and open late, and both Uschi and I are dealing with Ben dramas that we wanted to forget about. Kings Cross it was!

When we first arrive, I saw a club named The Lincoln. How appropriate! In Chicago, I lived in Lincoln Square, off Lincoln Avenue, in the Land of Lincoln, with a dog named Lincoln. I thought it was a sign of great things to come and decided to take a picture. I was wrong. As I held my camera up and zoomed to take the picture, the bouncer came running over and grabbed my camera. Apparently you can't take pictures of the outside of a club. He really freaked out and wanted to know why we were taking a picture of the club. To which I told him the dumb Lincoln thing, he still was not impressed. Uschi talked him into taking our picture in front of the sign, which I thought was just as good. Until I saw the picture:

Really dude? You can't work a point and shoot camera?

After that debacle, I decided I didn't want to drink at that establishment. Who freaks out over a picture?! So we walked on. We were going to go to bars that didn't have a cover, so we ended up at a very dead pub and with in 2 minutes a guy approached us and asked "Got any drugs?" I literally laughed out loud, said no and rolled my eyes in the same moment. He went up to Uschi and tried to sell her drugs and listed off all the stuff he had. To which we laughed and promptly walked away. Seriously? Kings Cross you are living up to your reputation.

I've heard of World Bar many times, but never been. All I know is that they serve your drinks out of teapots and people tend to steal the teapots. Uschi and I decided to bend our no-cover rule to go to World Bar. I went up to the bouncer to ask what the cover was. I was willing to pay $5, I would've paid $10 but that was pushing it. The cover was $15. No effing way. I hate the idea of covers anyway. I don't feel that I should have to pay to spend money in your establishment. And I am definitely not paying the cost of 2 drinks! We tried another bar with a cover...that one...$20. I laughed in the bouncers face and walked away.

After that we gave up and went to get a burrito. Then took a cab home. Kings Cross, I am not a fan.

Last night (Saturday) my friend Alexis had a party at her apartment. There was Flippy Cup. It was epic. And I must say that my Flippy Cup skills came back just like riding a bike! Early in the night, I lost possession of my phone. A girl I had just met took it and apparently was texting a 'Ben.' I wasn't completely unaware of what was going on, but I couldn't be bothered to care what she said, lol. The string of messages that resulted were completely inappropriate and hilarious. I'm pretty sure I won't be hearing from that Ben again.

The really funny part of last night was after I left the party. I stopped to drunkenly get a kabab. Kababs are everywhere in Sydney. The equivalent of getting Taco Burrito King at 2am. I can only eat them after drinking because I'm pretty sure there's about 3,000 calories in each one. And they're delicious. I took my happy self and my kabab home where I proceeded to not send drunken text messages or drunk dials, but drunk skyping. I took it up a WHOLE new level. But really, it was only Jacob because with the time difference, calling him at 3am is actually perfect ( I think its like 7pm in Norway then). Recapping the conversation with him today he told me that it was "a very Kassi-like conversation." I basically went on an egotistical narcissistic rant. I told him over and over again that I'm awesome and he's an ass for not seeing it. Ha! After making him feel like an ass I was "very sweet in a very odd way." Classic Kassi right there. I may have also done a bit of bragging about how tone my legs are and my new found ability to do full push ups.  He introduced me to this hilarious song that he dedicated as my theme song, and I couldn't agree more. Except that I actually am awesome :)

Beware:  The video will make you laugh so hard your drink comes squirting out of your nose.  Also, its heavy on the cursing.